ELOVE.COM Application form:

Name: Frank Bilton
Hobbies: Long walks on the beach, chick flicks, sunsets, and living in my mother's basement...I mean...uhhhhh....my awesome mansion
Home: awesome mansion
What You're Looking For: A smoking hot woman who loves Rambo AND is wealthy...or something like that...
Clubs: Star Trekkies United, Halo for the Homeless Foundation (HHF), Men with Inhalers Support Group(MISG), Men with SL (snorting laughter) Anonymous
Profession: Pimple Cream Tester
Pets: A fake animal from Star trek year #9 from the planet Horsemandey
Favorite show: Start Trek
Favorite Movie: Indian Jones VS. the Cleonites
Body Type: Fat with lots of belly hair to love...I mean BUFF
Religion: Cleon
Sign: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Final Comments:
I'm desperate and willing to date anyone even if you're fat, ugly, with protruding or missing teeth, body odor, body hair, mustache, and terrible personality.