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Fun Page
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Jan 15 2008, 7:49 PM EST by
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Thread started: Jan 15 2008, 7:49 PM EST
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Lance you need to add some new stuff to this page. This stuff is funny. I love the Little Johnny jokes. classic.
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Lance.
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Jan 8 2008, 8:20 PM EST by
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Thread started: Jan 8 2008, 8:20 PM EST
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Wow bud, your something else. Very intriguing dog stories.
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Just to see what you'd do!
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Dec 4 2007, 1:02 PM EST by
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Thread started: Nov 28 2007, 8:08 PM EST
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I got this at a leadership workshop I was at, and I wanted to see what you guys thought about it!
You are on a plane flying over the Pacific Ocean when the captain who is flying comes over the intercom to explain that there has been a problem witht he airplane and emerggency procedures must be taken. In order to maintain flight, the combined weight of those on board muse be less than 1400 lbs. Currentyl, those aboard weigh 2400 lbs. As the second officer, you must determine who will stay and who will go from the airplaine in order to keep the entire group from perishing. The following is a quick bio of each person along with their weight. No one is volunteering to go. Neither you no the captain may go.
185- 28 year old marine married w/ 1 child
320- 30 year old scientist with a formula that will allow vegetation to grow in desert areas void of water
190- 19 year old pregnant stripper
130- 24 year old middle school teacher with three children
190- 40 yaer old CEO of a major software company unmarried
260- 45 year old person who is unemplyed and has a family of 6
220- 18 year old headed to college
115- 75 year old with 18 grandchildren and 20 great grandchildren
150- 35 year old minister
300- 51 year old millionaire who heads the center for Cancer REsearch in North America
110- 25 year old who is HIV positive
160- 44 year old Senator from Minnesota
190- 26 year old professional basketball player
Remember, you can't just choose random people. You have to be able to defend and explain your decisions.
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Last Reply:
RE: Just to see what you'd do!- People I wouldn't
By: ,
Dec 4 2007, 1:02 PM EST
Okay, first of all- I HATE THIS!! It took me DAYS of contemplating to decide who would go & why! Well, here it is. First of all these are the people i wouldn't choose & why: 1. I wouldn't choose the marine because I have multiple family members & friends in the military & it hits a sore spot. 2. Not the teacher because they are so young with so many multiple children, they have so much more to live- to watch their kids grow. 3. Even though the scientist weighs the most, he would save more lives with his vegitation syrum than I can imagine. 4. Not the unemployed parent of 6 beacause (even though his kids would recieve social security because of his/her death) he/she deserves to see them grow. 5. not the 18 yr old collegebound kid because he/she is so young- they haven't even begun to live yet. 6 Not the minister because I dunno about you, but i don't want to go to hell.........!?& 6. Not the b-ball player because- well, I'm not exactly sure- but something told me not him.
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ATTTENTION!!!
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Nov 28 2007, 8:11 PM EST by
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Thread started: Nov 28 2007, 8:11 PM EST
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THE DOG'S DAILY LOG HAS BEEN MOVED TO ITS OWN PAGE.....
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A Dog's Daily Log
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Nov 27 2007, 7:53 PM EST by
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Thread started: Nov 27 2007, 7:53 PM EST
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Day 423:
Today, the humans decided to give me some room to move around by leaving the house for the day. I decided to do some sabotage work and other miscellaneous things while they were out. I've finally came through with a formula proven to create the ultimate land mine. It involves an excess amount of poo, though. I plan on sneaking something the humans call a laxative to provide me with the extra surplus. I went through and knawed the top of all the legs on their table chairs. I had to go the bathroom so I left hidden puddles throughout their bedroom. Also, I went and knawed some of their light source cords so now when they get into their room, they won't be able to see where the hidden present are located. And finally, I got into the trash and ripped it out all over the kitchen floor. I can't wait to see their faces when they get home. I will report on this in my next log.
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A Dog's Daily Log
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Nov 27 2007, 6:01 PM EST by
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Thread started: Nov 26 2007, 7:15 PM EST
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Day 422:
There I am encased in my carrier. It seemed to be some sort of portable jail cell. The humans talked about something called fleas. MAN! I was been itchy. Hold on, let me itch my butt real quick...ohhhh....yes....mmmmm....OK back. The enemies doctor put me in a tub filled with toxic chemicals. I fought as much as I could and in the end, I lost. But I did get my revenge. Later that day, I puked in the humans bed under the covers after I ate some dead bird. Ohh the revenge was sweet. They were so angry and it showed my anger. Tonight I plan on puking on them while they're sleeping. Mwahahahaha! Oh yeah and the land mines are still in progress.
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A Dog's Daily Log
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Nov 26 2007, 7:12 PM EST by
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Thread started: Nov 26 2007, 7:12 PM EST
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Day 421:
I have been captive for about 421 days and I still haven't been able to escape yet. The captives feed me terrible food that they say is "healthy" for me. I killed the neighbor's cat for them in hope they would see that I am a force to be reckoned with but instead they started talking about how it kept crappin on the porch and told me that I was a good dog. The alpha male took the cat in the night out to the backyard and buried it. On his way in, I attacked him and bit his leg. Of course, it was dark and he assumed that I had mistaken him for an intruder. What a moron! Later on I ate the chicken that was for their dinner. It tasted so good but I had to crap someting fierce and I couldn't hold it. I crapped in their room. The female stepped in it and pretty much got mad and hit me with a newspaper. What I wish she could understand is that when I'm licking her face, I'm getting accustomed to her taste so I can fuuly enjoy eating her dead, decoposing body. But anyway, I must try to configure a bomb up and hide it in my poo. I will call this deadly weapon, a land mine.
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Love it
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Nov 22 2007, 10:00 PM EST by
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Thread started: Sep 26 2007, 11:16 PM EDT
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Love the page, Lance, and we're on the same "page" about the importance of laughter in our lives. In fact, that is a major theme in one of the books we'll be reading later in the year...
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RE: Love it
By: ,
Nov 22 2007, 10:00 PM EST
"One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" haha... I love that book!
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Lance?
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Nov 20 2007, 10:16 PM EST by
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Thread started: Nov 20 2007, 10:16 PM EST
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Welp, this is Lance's Fun Page. Where has Lance been? ;)
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THIS CHEESEY JOKE MADE ME LAUGH SOO HARD!!
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Nov 16 2007, 3:17 PM EST by
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Thread started: Nov 16 2007, 3:17 PM EST
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What did the thumb say to the finger??
I'm in GLOVE with you!!!! =D
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Martha/Maxine
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Sep 30 2007, 10:04 PM EDT by
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Thread started: Sep 30 2007, 10:04 PM EDT
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Lol...The whole Martha/Maxine was an e-mail that my GRANDMOTHER who never hardly e-mails me..sent me! Haha..I thought it was hysterical! I love Maxineee! :o]
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Good Job
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Sep 23 2007, 3:07 PM EDT by
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Thread started: Sep 23 2007, 3:07 PM EDT
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I like it, Lance. ;)
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